


too busy earnin'

by undeliveredtruth



Series: svt requests & randoms [6]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sick Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 10:31:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19316389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undeliveredtruth/pseuds/undeliveredtruth
Summary: Behind closed doors. Behind closed doors works too.





	too busy earnin'

**Author's Note:**

> For the anon on CC who asked for cheolkwan, here is this short word vomit ahhhh. I was like let's write this cuddly fic, and then I realized I felt like a little bit of angst, so... here we are. Just a little bit.

Despite his reputation of a drama queen, Seungkwan is... independent, to say the least. He's confident and an overachiever, always making sure he's happy with everything he puts out, but not insecure about it. He's a beam of light too, a ray of sunshine, one of the moodmakers in their group; when he's happy, he's happy, when he cries, he cries, and lets it all out. He never takes things to heart, and always talks it out if he's unhappy. That's why all the members have no issue picking on him, playfully, messing around with him.

So Seungcheol... kind of forgets about him sometimes. There are kids who need his help more, who way more often fall into webs of insecurities, into places they need help getting out of, so Seungcheol focuses on them, making sure they're okay.

Until Seungkwan gets sick one day. He's done too many variety shows lately, while preparing for their comeback, and keeping up his vocal lessons with Seokmin that no one else but them have to do, so he gets barely any sleep. He says he's fine, that he's done it before, but this is not comeback period, so he should relax, sleep a little.

He also diets too, because Pledis is making him again, so the combination of that, all of that, is bound to weaken his immune system.

It's not a big deal. Just a cold, just a little bit of a fever and he gets meds, instructions to drink water and sleep it off for a couple of days and it will be fine. The members get instructions to not sit with him so they don't get sick too, and they follow them.

But Seungcheol sits on his bed, Wonwoo in the living room again, and the guilt makes his heart stop in his chest. He should've paid more attention to him. He shouldn't have just assumed Seungkwan was fine, he should've asked him, made sure he ate properly, cooked some healthy but nutritious meals for him, made sure he fell asleep quicker, maybe should have given him a massage or something.

In the midst of his thoughts, three hesitant knocks ring out against the door, and Seungcheol perks up his ears.

"Come in," he says, wondering who it is, because nobody would really knock before entering his room.

Of course it's Seungkwan, illuminated by the light from the living room, shining behind him. He comes in, closes the door behind him, leaving the room in the darkness it had been, except for the moonlight coming in from the window.

He stands in the middle of the room, awkward, fiddling with his hands. Seungcheol chuckles, pulls the comforter aside in an invite, and Seungkwan takes his slippers off, slides into his bed, his head resting on Seungcheol's shoulder and his arm draped around his waist. His toes are cold when he slides them between Seungcheol's calves, but Seungcheol doesn't mind.

"Are you feeling better?" Seungcheol asks, reaching a hand to run through Seungkwan's hair. He should shower, but he's been sick, so Seungcheol doesn't berate him. The slight movement of Seungkwan's head on his shoulder told him he nodded, his arm tightening around Seungcheol's waist for Seungkwan to adjust his position.

"What do you need? Do you want to sleep?" Seungcheol whispers.

"No," Seungkwan answers, muffled. "Slept enough. Been sleeping for two days."

"Do you... want to get off?" He prods, feeling Seungkwan shake his head.

"Later. Can you just... talk?"

"What do you want me to say?" Seungcheol murmurs, caressing his hand over the nape of Seungkwan's neck, between his shoulder blades.

"Whatever. What did you do today?"

"Today? Hmm. I woke up early, had breakfast with Mingyu, Joshua and Hao, and then I went to the company. I talked to Jihoon for a while, checked on our songs, went over some raps with him. I talked to the performance team, saw how the choreos were going, and then I had a couple of meetings with Pledis people."

"Were they good?" Seungkwan whispers, his words barely audible.

"Yeah. They were good. They're happy with our concept."

"Mmm," he nods, switches to bury his head in the nape of Seungcheol's neck, his nose pressing on Seungcheol's skin. Seungcheol lets the silence wash over them, comforting, before the guilt rises again in Seungcheol's throat.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "That I didn't take better care of you."

Seungkwan shifts again, so his forehead is pressing on Seungcheol's jaw.

"Hyung... I'm afraid," he whispers, tiny words that make Seungcheol's heart choke up.

"Of what?"

"Of messing up. Of saying the wrong thing, doing a wrong thing somewhere, on a variety show, and then it's over for all of us," he breaths.

Seungcheol only kind of realizes it then. How lonely it must feel for Seungkwan to bear the burden of their name by himself wherever he goes. How terrifying it must be.

Suddenly, Seungcheol wants to cry. For him.

"You won't. And even if you do, it's fine. You won't do it on purpose. People will understand."

"What if they won't, hyung?" He asks, choked up. "What if... they won't, and I mess it up completely?"

"Kwannie..." Seungcheol starts, hugging him close. "You're a genuine person. Honest, with a beautiful heart. They all can see that, our fans all do. They all love you because of that, and they know we're human. We all make mistakes. We're bound to, when we work this hard. But it's fine."

"Am I? A genuine person?" The insecurities string his voice dry, lay them out for Seungcheol to see.

"You are, Kwannie. You are."

"Thank you, hyung," he whispers, and Seungcheol switches until he's on his side, hugging Seungkwan close with both arms wrapped around his back. He presses a small kiss to his forehead, feeling how Seungkwan is still feverish, still really hot.

"Hyung..." he starts, his words muffled once again by Seungcheol's skin. "I hope you never hate me."

"Never, Kwannie," Seungcheol answers, rubbing his hand over his back, comforting. In silence, sharing his comfort with Seungkwan, all that he can really give him, until his breathing evens.

"I love you a lot, hyung," he whispers, but before Seungcheol can say anything, Seungkwan's already asleep.

\---

When he wakes up, Seungcheol registers the weight on his side, the warm breath on his neck. He hums, tugging Seungkwan closer with the hand around his shoulders, opening his eyes when Seungkwan’s breath catches.

It’s only when he opens his eyes when he registers the sharp headache, his stuffy nose.

Damn. Seungkwan’s gotten him sick too.

“Hyung,” Seungkwan whispers, his voice almost pained, and Seungcheol forgets about it all.

“Yeah, Kwannie,” he turns to him, watches his open eyes, his quivering breath. In the daylight, there’s no melancholy, none of the things tugging at his chest in the night, when he’s all too willing to let go. It’s just the pain of reality.

“I like you, hyung,” Seungkwan mumbles, sounding almost like he’ll cry. “I like you so much, hyung, I don’t know what to do. It _hurts,_ hyung.”

Seungcheol knows. _He knows._

He’s never been blind to how Seungkwan’s touches seem to go only between hesitant and desperate, like he either needs Seungcheol or is too scared by how much he does. How Seungkwan sneaking in his bed sometimes, begging for Seungcheol’s help, for his touches, is not just two group mates helping each other. How only with him Seungkwan is weak when he needs to.

“I... I like you too, Seungkwannie. You know that.”

“I know, hyung. I know.”

But that doesn’t mean they can have anything beyond what they already do. Seungcheol has 11 more kids to look after, and can’t afford the selfishness of a relationship when it could ruin what all of them worked for, and for so long.

“I can stop, Seungkwannie. If you want to, I can stop helping them.”

“No, no, hyung. They need you as much as I do.”

Seungkwan’s not selfish. He’s never been selfish either, that’s why it works with them. It works in that way that is never enough, but also not bad enough to call it off. Just that way it is when you're stringing it along, drawing a little bit of comfort sometimes to tide you over when it's particularly bad. But just that comfort is enough when there's nothing else.

“Seungkwannie,” he starts, running a hand through his hair. “You know just how special you are to me, right? How much I look at you and wonder how you have so much strength to give to me and to others?”

Seungkwan whines, a noise like he’s embarrassed, burying his nose in Seungcheol’s neck.

“We might not be able to have a proper relationship, but you still matter a lot to me, don’t forget that. I’m always here for you anyway.”

Behind closed doors, but that’s enough. They both love where they are, and their members, and their life, and their fans, and it has to be enough.

“Hyung...” Seungkwan mutters in his neck, but Seungcheol doesn’t pick up what he said.

“What is it?” Seungcheol asks, rubbing at his nape. Seungkwan pulls his head back, just a little.

“I love you,” he mumbles, buries his face back in Seungcheol’s neck right after. Seungcheol smiles and tries not to tear up.

“I love you too, Kwannie.”

He humphs, his breath tickling Seungcheol’s neck.

“We’ll be fine, right? If we don’t tell anyone,” he pulls back, looking into Seungcheol’s eyes.

“Might be too late, darling. I’m pretty sure they know.”

“I’m fine if our members do. Just... not others.”

“We won’t tell,” Seungcheol nods, pulls Seungkwan back against him, places a kiss on his forehead.

Behind closed doors. Behind closed doors works too.

**Author's Note:**

> I find cheolkwan such a power couple like... yes. That's why it can be a little bit hard but they love each other!!
> 
> Thank you for reading darlings! <3 Hit me up on twt or CC @bbysvts. <3


End file.
